Walking Beside Julia: How Coaching Shaped Me as a Mom

Time with Julia looks nothing like I pictured it would. And yet, it is more precious than anything I could have imagined.

Some of our sweetest moments are the simple ones, like walking Harper together. Recently, with Mike out of town, I got to see my relationship with Julia in a new light. High school has brought a wave of new experiences, and it has been a front row seat to her becoming her own person.

I think back to when she was 5. That is when I hired my first coach, because I knew if I wanted to be the mom she needed, I had to change. At that time, I was a chronic worrier, full of fear, excuses, and self doubt. I had no idea how to handle rejection, disappointment, or my own emotions, and though I was an entrepreneur I kept playing really small and I knew that was not what I was meant for.

Fast forward to now. My mind still whispers that I am not good enough, but here is what I do know… I have become good at being a mom who

knows how to process her emotions instead of drowning in them,

speaks to herself with more kindness,

leads by example,

and shows up fully present.

Because of that, Julia is learning things I never knew at her age. She is learning how to process disappointment and embarrassment when auditions do not go as planned. She is learning that failure can be both hard and a teacher. Her volleyball team has not won a game yet, and she is learning to manage her focus, celebrate the small wins, and find the gains that are not defined on a scoreboard.

We talk about dreams. We laugh at our silly nicknames. We clash over phone restrictions and Snapchat. She tells me when she is mad, and I explain my fears and choices. I share my own embarrassments and failures. She sees my resilience.

And maybe most importantly, I can hold space for all of her feelings without making them mean something about me. Her emotions belong to her. Her mistakes are hers to grow from. My job is to stay curious, not accusatory.

This is what coaching has given me. It changed me, and because of that, it has shaped the mom Julia has. I am honored to be part of an industry that is helping humans show up in the way they want to instead of the patterns they never realized they learned, the ones that would have otherwise imprisoned them.

I will never stop being a student of my life as I grow and evolve, and I get to now watch my own daughter do the same. Even as she gets older I am still unwinding the generational patterns that I refuse to burden Julia with, and I trust it is all happening in divine timing even when I feel like I am failing. It is simply not true.