Walking Beside Julia: How Coaching Shaped Me as a Mom
Time with my daughter Julia looks nothing like I once imagined, and it is more precious because of it. From walking the dog to late night talks about dreams, failure, and phones, I see how the years of doing my own coaching work have changed the mom she has. Coaching has taught me how to lead with curiosity instead of fear, and that shift is shaping Julia’s ability to face challenges and grow in ways I never learned at her age.
Time with Julia looks nothing like I pictured it would. And yet, it is more precious than anything I could have imagined.
Some of our sweetest moments are the simple ones, like walking Harper together. Recently, with Mike out of town, I got to see my relationship with Julia in a new light. High school has brought a wave of new experiences, and it has been a front row seat to her becoming her own person.
I think back to when she was 5. That is when I hired my first coach, because I knew if I wanted to be the mom she needed, I had to change. At that time, I was a chronic worrier, full of fear, excuses, and self doubt. I had no idea how to handle rejection, disappointment, or my own emotions, and though I was an entrepreneur I kept playing really small and I knew that was not what I was meant for.
Fast forward to now. My mind still whispers that I am not good enough, but here is what I do know… I have become good at being a mom who
knows how to process her emotions instead of drowning in them,
speaks to herself with more kindness,
leads by example,
and shows up fully present.
Because of that, Julia is learning things I never knew at her age. She is learning how to process disappointment and embarrassment when auditions do not go as planned. She is learning that failure can be both hard and a teacher. Her volleyball team has not won a game yet, and she is learning to manage her focus, celebrate the small wins, and find the gains that are not defined on a scoreboard.
We talk about dreams. We laugh at our silly nicknames. We clash over phone restrictions and Snapchat. She tells me when she is mad, and I explain my fears and choices. I share my own embarrassments and failures. She sees my resilience.
And maybe most importantly, I can hold space for all of her feelings without making them mean something about me. Her emotions belong to her. Her mistakes are hers to grow from. My job is to stay curious, not accusatory.
This is what coaching has given me. It changed me, and because of that, it has shaped the mom Julia has. I am honored to be part of an industry that is helping humans show up in the way they want to instead of the patterns they never realized they learned, the ones that would have otherwise imprisoned them.
I will never stop being a student of my life as I grow and evolve, and I get to now watch my own daughter do the same. Even as she gets older I am still unwinding the generational patterns that I refuse to burden Julia with, and I trust it is all happening in divine timing even when I feel like I am failing. It is simply not true.
Your Brain Lies to You Every Day
Your brain lies to you every single day—not to hurt you, but to keep you small. Those lies look different for everyone, but here’s the truth: when you stop listening and start doing what you actually want, success becomes inevitable.
Here’s the wild thing about your brain: it lies to you every single day.
Not because it’s cruel.
Not because it doesn’t want the best for you.
But because it’s wired for safety, not success.
And safety often looks like smallness.
The Sneaky Nature of the Lies
These lies don’t come wrapped in neon signs that say: “Don’t grow! Don’t change!”
No, they show up in sneaky, believable ways. They sound like:
“I’ll start tomorrow.”
“I’m too tired today.”
“I’m not ready yet.”
“What if I fail?”
“This is just who I am.”
And because they feel reasonable, you trust them.
The truth?
They’re not reasonable at all. They’re roadblocks disguised as logic.
Why Your Brain Does This
Your brain’s number one job is survival. Growth, expansion, going after big goals—those things feel risky.
So your brain offers you thoughts that keep you safe, small, and in the known.
But safe doesn’t equal fulfilled. And small doesn’t equal successful.
What Happens When You Stop Listening
Here’s the shift: success is inevitable when you stop listening to those lies and start leading your brain instead.
When you take action even when your brain whispers:
“Don’t post that, people might judge you.”
“You’ll never stick with this workout routine.”
“Better not try, it might not work.”
And instead, you say:
“I’ll post anyway.”
“I’ll show up for myself today.”
“I’m willing to see what’s possible.”
That’s when everything changes.
The Truth That Sets You Free
Your brain will always offer lies to keep you small.
But you don’t have to believe them.
When you choose to do the thing you actually want—not the thing that feels “safe”—your life can’t help but expand.
Because the real truth is this:
Your success isn’t about talent, luck, or timing.
It’s about whether or not you listen to your brain’s lies.
Success is inevitable when you don’t.
Your mind was not meant to witness this much tragedy.
Your mind wasn’t built to witness this much tragedy—yet we scroll, we absorb, and we wonder why we feel so off. This piece is a compassionate call to tend to your nervous system, reconnect with your body, and remember your power.
Your mind was not meant to witness this much tragedy.
This week, we saw tragedy unfold again.
Not just in the news, but in live videos of lives lost.
And I need to share this with you.
This is my way of serving the world when things feel disorienting.
Sharing this helps ME come back to center.
Because whether you knew the people or not,
if you watched those videos or just engaged in the emotional subjects, your nervous system registered it.
Your brain did exactly what it is designed to do:
scan for danger
process threat
try to make sense of the chaos
But our minds were not built for this kind of nonstop exposure to fear, grief, and horror on loop,
and neither were our nervous systems.
And yet, we scroll
Because the apps are designed to make us stay
To never look away
To keep going
This is not about ignoring injustice.
It is not about pretending nothing is wrong.
But rumination never serves us, no matter the subject.
This is about protecting the organ that runs your entire life, your brain.
And caring for the system that holds it all together, your nervous system.
And if you already carry stored trauma in your body,
this kind of exposure can amplify it.
It can deepen dysregulation and pull you further from peace.
When you do not tend to these things,
it does not just affect how you feel.
It touches everything:
Your sleep
Your patience
Your focus
Your health
Your energy
Your relationships
Your goals
Even your finances
And I will always remind you:
You still have power.
Here are a few ways to take care of your mind and nervous system right now:
Sit and feel.
Do not push it down. Do not rush it away.
Do not buffer with a substance.
Place a hand on your chest.
Feel your heartbeat.
Breathe.
Notice where in your body you feel the fear, the terror, the anger, or the grief.
Sit with it.
It is okay that it is there. It is a messenger, not a mistake.
And yes, if left unchecked, anger, fear, sadness, and rage can take you down.
But when we go into the body, we take the energy and momentum away from the thoughts.
When we stop resisting, emotions pass.
From there, we return to center.
We reconnect.
We ground again.
We remember: “We are safe now.”
Then say or do something from service or from love.
This takes practice
but your mind and nervous system are worth it.
Your life is worth it.
Your kids.
Your partner.
Your clients.
All of it is worth this work.
1. Put the phone down for longer periods.
We were never meant to witness constant tragedy.
Even a short break matters.
2. Regulate before you educate and ask yourself:
Before posting, reacting, or diving into a conversation, pause.
What is the result I want or need from this?
How do I want to feel right now, and how can I feel that ahead of time?
Is there something more of service I could be doing with my time right now?
Check in with your body.
Take three deep breaths.
Then decide if engaging is truly serving your best interest.
3. Give your brain a new input.
Dance
Go for a walk in nature. Feel the grass beneath your feet
Get a workout in
Listen to calming music
Laugh with someone
Create something
Call a friend
BE PURPOSEFUL IN THIS.
Let your brain know:
Beauty still exists
Love still exists
Because what you focus on, you get more of
AND IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING RAISE YOUR HAND AND ASK FOR HELP
These events are scary
They are sad
They are disorienting
They are tragic
And you still have a beautiful, beautiful life to lead
Let us protect the parts of you that carry that life forward
Please do not leave comments that are political or judgmental in nature.
They are not welcome here.
This space is not for debates or division.
This space exists to help you live a happier, more fulfilled life. a more CONNECTED life.
And yes, that will look different depending on what is going on in your life and in the world.
But no matter what, it always starts with one thing:
your brain and your nervous system.
This is a space for true connection, love, healing, and safety for all humans.
And honestly, we need more of these spaces and I am here to do my best to create that
worry vs. concern
Hello again, friends!
How many things have you worried about in your life?
How many things have you worried about today?
Worry is ruminative speculation of what will go wrong. An anticipation of worst case scenarios and basically a form of self torment.
Very much a "what if" type of thinking.
Sometimes things genuinely need our attention and so that is where we can choose concern over worry.
Concern is a calculated rational assessment of the actual potential problem. Concern is more fact based and is very much constructive.
Would you rather deal with facts? Or fiction?
When we come from a place of concern vs worry we can think clearer.
Worry is fixating on a pain in the body and says "What if I have a terminal illness?..."...which just leads to panic.
Concern is "If I continue to feel this way I will make an appointment with a doctor."
Concern leads to problem solving.
Worry is living in the future (which isn't possible) and is just a habit.
Wait...I will say that one again.
Worry is just a habit. That is all.
Because the unknown is so uncomfortable we come up with worse case scenarios in our head to create the illusion of control of our future. But, it doesn't prepare us. It just diminishes our ability to handle situations.
Concern is living in the present with action taking. It is a normal reaction to a problem or challenge.
Worry comes from lack of faith and makes us retreat.
Concern comes from confidence and faith in ourselves and creates action.
Ask yourself "Do these thoughts serve me and my situation or do they just hurt me?"
We will never eliminate bad things from happening. But we can eliminate needless rumination that brings negativity and panic into our lives.
Remember worry is a habit. If you find yourself in rumination just pause. And choose again.
My clients are learning how to recognize and stop the ruminating thoughts in their tracks.
I help my clients feel better. That is what I do.
Keep going and expect miracles, are you worried?
-Allison
Do you like your reasons?
Whenever you make decisions today I want you to ask yourself this very simple question first-
Happy Day!
Coaching is really just powerful thought provoking questioning...and this one is REALLY good.
Whenever you make decisions today I want you to ask yourself this very simple question first-
Do I like my reasons?
Your brain is constantly offering you direction to take throughout your day.
Do you like your reasons for why you are deciding to do or not do any given task?
Take a moment to explore the underlying reasons for your decisions. When you start to dissect your reasoning for your decisions you start to look at what motivates you.
Do you like what you find?
Understanding the roots of your choices empowers you to then make more intentional decisions IF you don't like what you see is motivating you.
So much power lies in knowing why you do what you do.
You are in charge of your own life and the more you know why you do what you do the more in charge you can become.
I absolutely help my clients understand why they do what they do. Once they are more aware, together, we work on aligning their actions with their ultimate goals.
If this sounds like something you want (productivity with purpose) get on my calendar for a free 45 minute consult clarity call to learn more about what is keeping you stuck. Then we can make a plan to take purposeful action. My clients are truly living better and I want that for you too! You deserve it!
Keep going, my friend, and expect miracles all day, every day, and love your reasons for doing so...