Walking Beside Julia: How Coaching Shaped Me as a Mom

Time with Julia looks nothing like I pictured it would. And yet, it is more precious than anything I could have imagined.

Some of our sweetest moments are the simple ones, like walking Harper together. Recently, with Mike out of town, I got to see my relationship with Julia in a new light. High school has brought a wave of new experiences, and it has been a front row seat to her becoming her own person.

I think back to when she was 5. That is when I hired my first coach, because I knew if I wanted to be the mom she needed, I had to change. At that time, I was a chronic worrier, full of fear, excuses, and self doubt. I had no idea how to handle rejection, disappointment, or my own emotions, and though I was an entrepreneur I kept playing really small and I knew that was not what I was meant for.

Fast forward to now. My mind still whispers that I am not good enough, but here is what I do know… I have become good at being a mom who

knows how to process her emotions instead of drowning in them,

speaks to herself with more kindness,

leads by example,

and shows up fully present.

Because of that, Julia is learning things I never knew at her age. She is learning how to process disappointment and embarrassment when auditions do not go as planned. She is learning that failure can be both hard and a teacher. Her volleyball team has not won a game yet, and she is learning to manage her focus, celebrate the small wins, and find the gains that are not defined on a scoreboard.

We talk about dreams. We laugh at our silly nicknames. We clash over phone restrictions and Snapchat. She tells me when she is mad, and I explain my fears and choices. I share my own embarrassments and failures. She sees my resilience.

And maybe most importantly, I can hold space for all of her feelings without making them mean something about me. Her emotions belong to her. Her mistakes are hers to grow from. My job is to stay curious, not accusatory.

This is what coaching has given me. It changed me, and because of that, it has shaped the mom Julia has. I am honored to be part of an industry that is helping humans show up in the way they want to instead of the patterns they never realized they learned, the ones that would have otherwise imprisoned them.

I will never stop being a student of my life as I grow and evolve, and I get to now watch my own daughter do the same. Even as she gets older I am still unwinding the generational patterns that I refuse to burden Julia with, and I trust it is all happening in divine timing even when I feel like I am failing. It is simply not true.

What Is Life Coaching

The other day I met someone who had never heard of a life coach before.

Totally understandable. 

When I told them what I do, they looked a little confused.

And it made me think... maybe you’ve been getting these emails, reading my posts, liking them even, but still wondering:

“What exactly does she do?”

So let me break it down.

I’m a life coach.
That means I help you get from where you are now... to where you really want to be in your life.

I help you stop spinning, stop feeling stuck and start moving toward a life you are totally obsessed with.

Whether it’s your relationship with food, your body, a business, money, yourself, or you just want to feel better in life overall... I help you release the overwhelm and get back in the driver’s seat OF YOUR OWN LIFE! 

There are so many ways we do this, through mindset tools, processing emotions, and really looking at your thoughts and beliefs, just to name a few.

And no... this isn’t therapy. 

Therapy is great and very much has it's place but I’m not here to analyze and dig through your past.
I’m here to help you BELIEVE in and CREATE your future.

A life coach helps you with your indecision.

Honestly, that’s the number one thing I do…help you make powerful, grounded decisions.

Decisions about what you want.
How to move toward it.
And how to stop living on the fence in your own life.

On average, a person has between 50 to 100 open decisions floating around in their mind or "on their desk" at any given time, ranging from minor daily choices to major life decisions.

So, instead of spinning in:
“I don’t know what I want... I don’t know what to do... I don’t know how to get there...”
I help you get clear.

Clear on what you want.
Clear on what’s been keeping you stuck.
Clear on the kind of thoughts, feelings, and actions that will actually serve your future so you stop repeating the same patterns and start creating results you’re proud of.

Because nobody creates big results by living in “I don’t know", or constantly delaying decisions.

If you’re curious or want to know what this could look like for you, I offer a free consultation.
Just a conversation to see what’s really going on and if coaching is a fit for you.

Here’s the link to book:
Free Consult Calendar Link

Still not sure? Hit reply and ask me anything. I’m happy to talk it through.

PLUS—I’ll be sending another email later this week showing exactly how I’ve been helping clients and potential clients in real time, with real scenarios. So keep an eye out for that.

With all the love,
I’ll be in touch soon,

 Allison

Your mind was not meant to witness this much tragedy.

Your mind was not meant to witness this much tragedy.

This week, we saw tragedy unfold again.

Not just in the news, but in live videos of lives lost.

And I need to share this with you.

This is my way of serving the world when things feel disorienting.

Sharing this helps ME come back to center.

Because whether you knew the people or not,

if you watched those videos or just engaged in the emotional subjects, your nervous system registered it.

Your brain did exactly what it is designed to do:

scan for danger

process threat

try to make sense of the chaos

But our minds were not built for this kind of nonstop exposure to fear, grief, and horror on loop,

and neither were our nervous systems.

And yet, we scroll

Because the apps are designed to make us stay

To never look away

To keep going

This is not about ignoring injustice.

It is not about pretending nothing is wrong.

But rumination never serves us, no matter the subject.

This is about protecting the organ that runs your entire life, your brain.

And caring for the system that holds it all together, your nervous system.

And if you already carry stored trauma in your body,

this kind of exposure can amplify it.

It can deepen dysregulation and pull you further from peace.

When you do not tend to these things,

it does not just affect how you feel.

It touches everything:

Your sleep

Your patience

Your focus

Your health

Your energy

Your relationships

Your goals

Even your finances

And I will always remind you:

You still have power.

Here are a few ways to take care of your mind and nervous system right now:

Sit and feel.

Do not push it down. Do not rush it away.

Do not buffer with a substance.

Place a hand on your chest.

Feel your heartbeat.

Breathe.

Notice where in your body you feel the fear, the terror, the anger, or the grief.

Sit with it.

It is okay that it is there. It is a messenger, not a mistake.

And yes, if left unchecked, anger, fear, sadness, and rage can take you down.

But when we go into the body, we take the energy and momentum away from the thoughts.

When we stop resisting, emotions pass.

From there, we return to center.

We reconnect.

We ground again.

We remember: “We are safe now.”

Then say or do something from service or from love.

This takes practice

but your mind and nervous system are worth it.

Your life is worth it.

Your kids.

Your partner.

Your clients.

All of it is worth this work.

1. Put the phone down for longer periods.

We were never meant to witness constant tragedy.

Even a short break matters.

2. Regulate before you educate and ask yourself:

Before posting, reacting, or diving into a conversation, pause.

What is the result I want or need from this?

How do I want to feel right now, and how can I feel that ahead of time?

Is there something more of service I could be doing with my time right now?

Check in with your body.

Take three deep breaths.

Then decide if engaging is truly serving your best interest.

3. Give your brain a new input.

Dance

Go for a walk in nature. Feel the grass beneath your feet

Get a workout in

Listen to calming music

Laugh with someone

Create something

Call a friend

BE PURPOSEFUL IN THIS.

Let your brain know:

Beauty still exists

Love still exists

Because what you focus on, you get more of

AND IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING RAISE YOUR HAND AND ASK FOR HELP

These events are scary

They are sad

They are disorienting

They are tragic

And you still have a beautiful, beautiful life to lead

Let us protect the parts of you that carry that life forward

Please do not leave comments that are political or judgmental in nature.

They are not welcome here.

This space is not for debates or division.

This space exists to help you live a happier, more fulfilled life. a more CONNECTED life.

And yes, that will look different depending on what is going on in your life and in the world.

But no matter what, it always starts with one thing:

your brain and your nervous system.

This is a space for true connection, love, healing, and safety for all humans.

And honestly, we need more of these spaces and I am here to do my best to create that